Jenny and I were walking home from school.On our way back home,we went to a shop to buy a present for our class teacher. After purchasing the present, we continued walking.
While walking , we were talking about our examination which was just around the corner. We planned to do a group study. We also talked about the robbery that took place recently at my nousing area.
All of a sudden , we saw a man snatching a handbag of a woman. The thief managed to snatch the bag and the woman fell down. The woman tried to stand up she could not because she had an injury on her hand.
Without waiting any longer , I began to chase the thief. At the same time , Jenny went to find a telephone booth to call the police. I continued to chase the thief while shouting for help.
After half an hour , I managed to catch the thief and I tied a cloth at her mouth and hands. I felt proud because I managed to catch him. As I was angry with him ,I hit the thief several times using a stick. The thief groaned in pain while struggling to free himself.
Then, I brought the thief to the place where the incident took place. The thief tried very hardly to release himself by shouting but I did not bother him and tightened the cloth that I tied at his mouth. On my way, I was thinking of my great job of catching the thief. I even thought that my parents would be proud of him.
When I reached the place, I was surprised to see many people were looking at me. I saw Jenny was standing there while smiling but I did not know why he was smiling.
After that, a man came near me and asked me to release the 'thief'
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ReplyDeleteDear Shakirah, I want to comment your essay: The embarrassing moment...
ReplyDelete-First of all, your storytelling are not clear and confusing.Put some detail in the conclusion and make it more clear about the thief.
-next, there some spelling mistake. 'The embarrasing moment' should be 'The embarrassing moment'
-On paragraph 2 line 3, you can replace word nousing area to housing area.